Will You Be My Valentine Charlie Brown?

As someone who has been on both the depressing and up-lifting sides of arguably the most commercialized and fabricated holidays in America, I would like to discuss both the good and bad of the day.

For those who find themselves longing for companionship and loathing those who have garnered this seemingly highly desired commodity, I say, rejoice! Rejoice, in your present placement. I know this is difficult to hear, but there can be no highs without the lows. Love doesn’t taste as sweet as it does without knowing its antithesis. Love would not be what it is without everyone knowing what it is to be without it. The lower one becomes, the greater and sweeter true love will be once it is found.

Before moving on, yes! I did fall into the common cliche of discussing “true love.” This is somewhat frustrating to most. However, I use it purely in a sense to distinguish between lust and what I like to call pseudo-love, which I deem that phase we seem to fall into between the first few dates and that point where the relationship becomes truly promising. The pseudo-love phase is one where we seem to psych ourselves  up and into ruining the relationship before it even really begins. I digress; “true love” is too often used as some fairytale romance only found in trashy airplane fiction. For those who have experienced “true love” you can understand the distinction between tangible and legitimate love and that bargain-bin romance novel love.

(Side note: For those of you who swoon for those types of novels previously mentioned, please understand that this is idealized love and not real love. If you are holding out for some character-type in those novels, Valentine’s Day will forever be a Debby-Downer of a day. Where happiness is found, so can there be love.)

Now, for those of you who are truly head over heels in love, congratulations! The nasty looks and intense disdain shot your way on this day each year is temporal, but also reducible. These sentiments are developed mainly from envy and jealousy. First off, regardless of what day it is, it is unaaceptable to play tonsil hockey anywhere in public (please define public as anywhere you do not own/pay rent on the property on which you are currently located). No one wants to see it and THERE ARE CHILDREN AROUND! Have some decency. You will attract unpopular glory any day of the year for that, and ESPECIALLY on the one day of the year when those without the companionship you have are sternly reminded of that fact by the prolific commercialism of the holiday itself.

So, please show some restraint and compassion for those without on this lovely loving holiday. With that being said, you deserve every second of celebration for your love between you and your lover. It is fabulous to be in love, fall in love, and stay in love. Relationships are work and love is an amazing flame to maintain. I simply urge you to be cognizant of the fact that there are those who are envious of what you have and it is not necessary or kind to flaunt it on this day of constant reminders of their amorous-free life.

2 Responses to “Will You Be My Valentine Charlie Brown?”
  1. This is perfect!!! You’re definitely right that everyone has to take the lows if they want the eventual high’s. This is why people who jump from relationship to relationship aren’t always the happiest. Sure, they’re never alone, but how valuable are those relationships if they’re essentially interchangeable? It would be much wiser to be alone for a longer period of time until something truly extraordinary comes along. I’ll venture to say that all Valentine’s Day resentment from singles stems solely from jealousy. I may be alone, but I’m never envious or resentful of my friends who are in serious relationships. I’m happy that they’re doing well.

    There is something to be said about the benefits of being alone. In a lot of ways, I’m grateful to for the mystery of single life. I have no idea who I will end up with, and this keeps me going in a lot of ways. Predictability terrifies me, so I’m relieved that I’m not with someone that I can potentially see myself marrying. With that, I’d be able to see my entire life flash before my eyes, and this is a thought that I’m not ready to have floating around in my mind, at least at age 21. At the same time, I admire people who can find their soul mates at this age. It can be incredibly hard to go through life alone.

    Awesome post! This was very eloquently written.

    • Tyler Quillin says:

      Awe Laura, thank you very much. I admire your writing and comments like those you just made make me smile. I agree with everything you had to say. I remember quite a few unhappy Valentine’s Days. These lonely evenings are the reason why I appreciate, love, and value my lovely relationship I am in right now.

      But, with that being said, this philosophy is applicable to many facets of the human condition. I mean, one cannot know true happiness without experiencing unhappiness. Thus, this is where that popular euphemism comes from, “you don’t know what you have until its gone.”

      I just hope the resentment people develop is not a lifelong choice they make. It is a lonely, unhappy, and destructive road.

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