In the Midst of the Mist

Ralph Waldo Emerson once argued that we, as humans, are in constant movement, i.e. once we attain and new state, we simply push forward through towards another.

With that, I feel I am, at present, in the focus of a circle within a life transition, a new state is on the horizon. My collegiate career’s end is in the distance and is now visible, whereas before it was a far off oasis. I am setting up my last courses and preparing for my administrative degree check so I may “graduate.”

What will I do? What if my plans don’t work out? What if I find my plans for my life don’t truly satisfy my character and personal desires? What if my aspirations aren’t what I think they are once attained?

These questions meet my thought more and more of late. To ask these questions of one’s self seems only natural and, in fact, important, for if one does not ask themselves these questions, who will?

Am I on the right path for myself? – I don’t know. It seems so. I enjoy garnering knowledge, pushing my intellectual boundaries with philosophy. The next logical step to continue my pursuit of heightened intellectual achievement seems to be law school over a Ph.D. I say this because I am just as much a people person as I am an academic bookworm. Law is the application of philosophy to civility.

Going back to the questions of whether these choices I am making are the correct ones for myself, many of these questions are unanswerable until experienced. I will never know what U.S. Congress is truly like until I am a Congressman. I may experience it in certain lights, but it is impossible to experience what a Congressman experiences without being one myself. I can never know what it feels like to be an attorney representing a defendant charged with murder and who is facing the death penalty without being that attorney. Those types of situations are impossible to translate into any other experience.

Say I spend 3+ years of school on top of my undergraduate studies, then practice law to the extent that I finally develop enough experience to handle a death penalty case, at which point I find that this profession is not for me. What if that happens?

I suppose these questions are only natural. Though the future excites me, I think its open-ended opportunity, which it presents, frightens me in a strange way as well. The economy certainly plays a role in my present faltering of certainty in relation to my future. Are the steps I am taking right now going to prepare me for the future? I venture to guess that everyone else is just kind of hoping for the best as I do today.


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